Lately I’ve been consciously creating community where ever and however I can. That means at my part-time job, in my little Williamsburg Yarnistas monthly gatherings and through my podcast supporters on Facebook.
I’ve tried to make communities happen in the past with varying results. This time everything seems lighter and more, I guess, organic.
The difference? Obviously I have more years on the planet under my belt and maybe that’s why I feel a lightening in the way I hold the reigns on these things. When I learned to ride horses one of the keys to successfully getting that mammoth animal to do what a 12 year old girl wants - is to have a light hand on the reigns.
There you have it.
Control is a bit of a lie and the key to success is releasing the belief that we have any control at all.
Scary but also oddly freeing. We are, after all just zooming around like giant atoms on a planet that is a speck in an unending mass of stars.
It’s easy to get caught up in trying to control things though - especially your job search.
Instead, set your sights on a plan, create a map and head out in the desired direction, eyes open to pit stops and possibilities along the way. It’s true that if you don’t know where you’re going, you’re going to end up somewhere you most likely do not want to be.
Here’s how to job hunt when the truth is you have no actual control over what anyone else does in the entire process:
Determine - as specifically as possible - where you want to end up. Think about the long-term vision. Where (geographically, emotionally, financially) do you want to be when you RETIRE. YUP — plan that NOW. Of course you can’t control the future or guarantee you’ll be exactly there in 10 or 40 years - but you’re going to be a lot closer than if you determine you’re just going to apply to any and all jobs that come across your LinkedIn notifications.
Create a map by working backward from your ideal. You want to be living near a lake, driving a 10 year old car and have your house paid off in 30 years when you retire? Great. What do you have to do in 20 years, 10 years, 5 years, 3 years, 6 months and next week to get there? Go ahead write it all down - don’t control the process, just imagine and start mapping.
Look at your map and ask yourself what types of companies or industries are most likely going to provide you stepping stones to get where you want to be? What do you need to do today to be where you want to be in 6 months? So many of us think, “I’ll just take any job now!” and then can’t figure out we’re so miserable in December. Be as picky about your job targets as you are/were about finding a spouse. (and trust me, that’s a whole other newsletter).
Break your map into bite-size portions and set aside an hour or two each week to take action on one of those bite-sized portions. It could be researching companies, finding people who would be good assets in your network, or researching/taking a class. Just take action now to secure the goal.
Take a walk, meditate, drink water and get off the electronics. Every job hunt is better with a clear mind. These are things that can help you connect with what IS important and they don’t require any control.
My wish is that you find your center and navigate to that. That your job is a reflection of you and you are recognized as the beautiful, valuable, creative and worthy human you are — at work and everywhere. If I can help you with that, let me know.
Adoptees at Work
Soon there will be a separate substack just for fans of Adoptees at Work. Until then, here’s your update - this week we hear from my friend Julian, aka PoetLosChil who has a deeply moving story about being a young boy who wasn’t allowed to talk about the core story of his life, and how that’s shaped him into the man he is today. I hope you’ll listen and follow on spotify.
Do you or someone you know want to share your story on Adoptees at Work? Email me and let me know. Peggie.Arvidson.CareercoachATGmail.com
Quarterly Porch Chat
Each quarter I host an Ask Me Anything “porch chat” on Zoom to talk about job hunting, share support and offer ideas to help you.
This chat is included in your paid subscription, however you MUST RSVP with an email stating “Porch chat I’m In” in the subject line.
If you’d like to attend the Porch Chat and are NOT a paid subscriber - the fee is $17.00. Again, please email me and let me know you’d like to come and I’ll send you an invoice for the fee.
The porch chat is scheduled for Wednesday, August 16th at 7pm Eastern.
You must RSVP to receive the zoom invite.
Until next week, find something that makes you smile, tell your important people that they matter to you (bonus if you tell them one reason why they are important) and don’t forget that sunscreen.
Hugs,
Peggie