Why are we so disconnected?
And a fix
Connection.
Without it what’s the point?
Seriously. Beyond job boards and annual reviews and LinkedIn profiles - what are we here for?
It’s trite but true. Upon receiving a devastating terminal diagnosis, no one has ever said, “I wish I had worked more.”
We start thinking about who we want to spend more time with and what we want to do when we have that time together.
I recognize that modern, Western society has been created to do it’s best to separate individuals and to have us point our fingers - either at the co-worker who just isn’t holding his own, or at the competitor who certainly must be doing something illegal to be thriving in this economy.
Think about your life so far.
My guess is you were compared to others in your age group, your class, your neighborhood and even your family.
To give grace I’m going to presume that this was done to ‘help’ us, and prepare us for the world that we were going to face.
It may be why so many women have a hard time meeting friends as adults - no longer in class with others, we’re either overworked or competing with our colleagues who may otherwise be friends. At yoga and pilates we look around and cannot help but notice the tall brunette who looks older and can still hold a plank longer. We compare our warrior 3 to the 20 something behind us in the mirror and we feel incompetent compared to the SAHM whose kids are always polite and not on their devices!
Never mind what we do to ourselves at work. The comparison is often debilitating. In some cases our companies encourage that division — the better to control the team. Keeping people guessing about their employment status seems a good way to keep folks in line.
All of this is a well though out plan to keep us separated.
No wonder social media is full of lies and distractions. Accusations are easy to toss and other people, especially those we don’t really know, are disposable.
What a WORLD!
What if connection was your superpower.
Not strategic. Not fake friendships.
Real, honest connection with other humans.
Become the person who is genuinely curious about what drives the actions of others. “Isn’t that interesting?” instead of “What a ridiculous idea!”
I’m not encouraging you to connect with hateful people, but I am encouraging us all to find out if the assumptions we’re making about others is actually true.
Lucky me, I have a circle of friends that is long standing - some have been by my side for more than 50 years, others 20 years or more and still others relatively recent connections in my new-ish city.
Letting that circle grow to the secondary and tertiary connections is important for me to FEEL good in this world. Feeling good is a core component of doing good - good work included.
This week, take 15 minutes to reach out to real people with whom you’ve connected and you feel some level of comfort. I know, it feels weird and hard to make friends as an adult. We can’t just hop onto the playground, pick up their hand and say “Let’s be friends!” (or can we?)
Take some time to text a connection, or reach out to a friend you keep meaning to call. No agenda other than hello.
See how those connections add value to your life. Your life is the point.
Let us know in the comments how this goes!