Am I do it all wrong?
big birthdays bring out all the questions
I’m not actually sure why YOU are here, reading this sporadic note in the ethers.1
That may be because I’m a little unsure of what the point is from my end at the moment.
Shortly after leaving a job that sucked, with people who were putting on a very good dog and pony show that momentarily caught my attention, I decided to go back to what I loved - writing. More to the point, writing about things that I’ve learned (through books, classes, life and my career) that can help you have a more fulfilling time on this planet.
Having a very, um, eclectic, career is both a blessing and a curse and I hoped that some of the twists and turns would prove, if not useful, than at least entertaining for you. In some cases my hope was to help you miss a sharp curve or a swift kick in the pants by demonstrating how NOT to do what I’ve done.
Underneath it all though is my commitment to seeking truth, light and humor. For the past 30 years I’ve been studying, living, and searching for the meaning of life. After all the whole point can’t be to go to school, get a job, sock money away and die with the most toys - right?
Aren’t we here on the planet for some deeper reason? Maybe to make the Creator laugh? That’s just too cynical even for me to believe. And yet, in 30 years of reading, studying, retreating, paying “gurus” and getting certifications, I haven’t found a definitive answer to the question of the meaning of life.
That irks me. You know? I’m doing my best here to treat myself and others with kindness - and to teach others what I’ve learned and to share wisdom and to meditate and downward dog - and still - nothing.
Maybe, I’m thinking, the point is to find my own answer, for my own self. Which does make it hard to go out and “teach” others - if the answer I find is only for myself. Right? Still. What if that’s it? To live fully as yourself - quirky, silly, obtuse, loud, clueless, nerdy, introspective and curious all at once, and just model that behavior - just live it. And let others see it all and form their own opinions about living authentically. So they can do it or not.
I recently was reminded of this part of my “purpose” via Rebecca Rosen’s newsletter, “Spirit also emphasized that the person's response to the information is not our responsibility and we're ultimately not in charge of what they do with it. Our job as the messenger is to simply pass it along, in the best way possible, and then release it.”
I had my hands read in 2005 (I think, time is fuzzy and goes faster than I imagined) at the urging of my marketing coach. My business was doing very well (boutique pet-care company in the DC area) but my personal life was falling apart. I felt like I had to choose between being successful in my career and successful in my personal life.
My coach told me to call this lady in Tucson and get a hand reading. I had no idea how or why it would work but I plunked down the $150 and got on the list. After the reading I felt settled and curious. For the first time someone articulated not only the facts of what I did to move my life forward, but how it made me feel. She decoded a message in my fingerprints, telling me that fingerprints never change from birth to death (unless you lose a finger, slice the fingerprints off or soak them in acid) and are there to remind us of the truth of what we can do to feel most purposeful during our time on the planet.
She also described the ways I most often got in my own way, and the reason I did so - let’s call it fear of success.
Since then I’ve been studying hands, reading hands and diving into the same questions - why exist on this spinning planet in a vast continuum of space and time, and how can I make the journey better for not just myself but for others - those I know and those I don’t.
Back to this substack. Newsletter. Note. Whatever it is.
With the growing acceptance of AI and the rapid adaptation of it by “content” creators, I’m pretty sure you’ll be able to get all the listicles, how-tos and pontifications on how to find a job, how to interview for a job, how to negotiate a salary (seriously, go ask your favorite bot to write an article about any of the above and you’ll see what I mean - some of it, of course, is drivel and some is useful - it’s up to real humans to help you figure out which is which).
As 2025 unfolds I’m doubling down on being human. On asking questions and diving deeper into thoughts and feelings that make us human - at work and in the world. I’m stepping away from the generic “how-tos” and creating space for small groups of you (real humans!) to dive deeply into what it means to be human on the planet at this time in the world.
Together we’ll ask questions, feed each outer with possibilities for a career that feeds our purposes and our families, and share the space to facilitate and guide one another through our personal networks and knowledge.
Will you join me? Our first gathering will be in February 2025. You’ll help decide time and date that work best for all. Simply send me a note or comment below and we’ll get it started. for accountability (and because, career wise - this is mine) we’ll have a moderate fee - perhaps pay what you can? Again, let me know your thoughts.
In the meantime, I’d love to hear what YOU feel the meaning of life is (or your life) in the comments!
Feel free to share why YOU are here - I’d love to know.