Adoptee here. You mention adoptees have been known to overcompensate to prove their worth. Yikes: my work has been my life. Then it was family and work. Only lately have I allowed myself simpler pleasures like gardening. Watching things grow. I married a guy whose work has been his life too. Parallel play has been our jam for the decades. I "lectured" him recently on how he needs to make room in his life for other things now that I've made room in mine. Funny how that works!
Krista - so good to hear from you! yup we re a unique bunch for sure. lots of value to others with our sheer determination to succeed - the reminder (like your 'lecture') is to make room -- thanks for popping in.
As a special education aide there is a lot of hurry up and wait that goes on...Gotta meet students where they are at, which sometimes makes me feel always behind, never caught up to others, and I have to remind myself...'With these kids, I don't have to keep up the pace as much'...(except for making sure they don't miss their bus ride home!)
I love this perspective - and I know you're gifted at your work in many ways. I'm reflecting on the ways we "pick" opportunities to learn to modify our knee-jerk response in a new way - that benefits ourselves and those around us. I imagine that forcing the students you work with to meet your "pace" may not be beneficial for either of you (except, of course, the bus home!!)
When I worked outaide the home, on and off for about 40 years, I wqs constantly in motion. Always in strive mode. Often pushed myself to work through breaks, lunch, keep going.
I feel that! It's like my "normal" is super-charged for most other people. and I used to think of it as a point of pride, now I just wonder about it - Why can't I give myself the grace I give others!?
Adoptee here. You mention adoptees have been known to overcompensate to prove their worth. Yikes: my work has been my life. Then it was family and work. Only lately have I allowed myself simpler pleasures like gardening. Watching things grow. I married a guy whose work has been his life too. Parallel play has been our jam for the decades. I "lectured" him recently on how he needs to make room in his life for other things now that I've made room in mine. Funny how that works!
Krista - so good to hear from you! yup we re a unique bunch for sure. lots of value to others with our sheer determination to succeed - the reminder (like your 'lecture') is to make room -- thanks for popping in.
As a special education aide there is a lot of hurry up and wait that goes on...Gotta meet students where they are at, which sometimes makes me feel always behind, never caught up to others, and I have to remind myself...'With these kids, I don't have to keep up the pace as much'...(except for making sure they don't miss their bus ride home!)
I love this perspective - and I know you're gifted at your work in many ways. I'm reflecting on the ways we "pick" opportunities to learn to modify our knee-jerk response in a new way - that benefits ourselves and those around us. I imagine that forcing the students you work with to meet your "pace" may not be beneficial for either of you (except, of course, the bus home!!)
When I worked outaide the home, on and off for about 40 years, I wqs constantly in motion. Always in strive mode. Often pushed myself to work through breaks, lunch, keep going.
I feel that! It's like my "normal" is super-charged for most other people. and I used to think of it as a point of pride, now I just wonder about it - Why can't I give myself the grace I give others!?